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Own That Instinct, Killer!

06/26/2011

Beautiful Readers,

if you’ve ever read anything about Krav Maga, a sort of Israeli marshal art developed by the mosad, then you know it isn’t for sissies. On the other hand, maybe it is for sissies–the kind of sissies who so concerned about being attacked that they learn to kill someone with their bare hands (or maybe just a couple of fingers) incredibly incredibly fast.

My son and I took our first class the other day at The Krav Maga center on w25th street in Manhattan. Initially, the instructor’s banter about killing quickly and killing efficiently made me feel shy and uncomfortable, but we were committed for the hour and I believe in trying anything (almost anything) once. So I gave in. I freed my mind and let down my resistance to the idea that maybe under certain circumstances, left with no other option It would be ok to kill someone-and frankly, for an hour, it felt awesome.

Who knew, that after years of squeamishness and goody two shoesness about hurting anything much less doing them in completely, I would feel so liberated by this simple one hour shift in morality. See, I was raised as a vaguely Christian bleeding heart catch-and-release-fishing-is-hurting-fish, liberal, so the whole taking human life thing – like, ever, unless you’re God (and even God is a lot less smite-y in the more wishy-washy New Testament) is a very big stretch for me.

But like the hard nosed preacher who takes delight in accidentally discovering You Porn at 3am or the Mormon college roommate who finds themselves the only one at the, all-in-all, pretty boring multigenerational New Years party in Manhattan, drunk as a skunk, smoking, and locked into a bedroom with some particularly creepy boy (she, who then later, back at college, decides two things: One, that she should go on a mission and attend a Mormon University, and two, that you, who were sitting on the couch all night at that party, with your frock still on, soberly conversing with your mom’s friends, is a bad influence who she can’t be friends with anymore)..I found the idea of killing a very big rush.

And you know what is an equally big rush? My lingering moral discomfort with it, and the thing that makes me want to write this, essentially, confessional blog. At heart, Many of us are sweet as pie, though we are also raging passionate animals at the same time. I’m not the first, nor the smartest person, to notice that these two, often contradictory, things require constant management and balance. Too far one way you hurt people, too far the other, people hurt you-without even meaning to. And knowing where to draw that line within oneself is a permanent challenge for each of us…and half of what, for me, makes life exciting. I highly recommend playing with that line within yourself, considering it, making sure where you have it drawn is working for you so that you are neither predator nor prey.

Thanks for reading!

Alix Florio
Beautiful Fitness