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The Third Broker

02/10/2011

Beautiful Readers,

In life, like in comedy, there is often a rule of threes. On first exposure to something, we are tentative–nothing wrong with that, us mammals are wired to be more risk adverse than novelty-seeking. The second time we encounter that thing, we enjoy a familiar feeling, we sniff around, we start to imagine what kind of reward we might get. If we get past the first two meetings and nothing bad happens–we may embrace whatever it is, call it our own, and start busily trying to figure out how to fit it advantageously into our life. That’s the fear-overcoming rule of threes.

But there is another way to look at the powerful rule of threes, you can also see it as a gradual process of stripping illusions or, more positively, the emergence of reality. And like my favorite part of therapy-it can sometimes leave you maybe a little disappointed, but more clear headed and better prepared to tackle a challenge.

This idea first came to me as I sat in The Corcoran Group’s training program for new salespeople (for those of you who don’t know, I will be selling coops and condos out of Corcoran’s Park Slope office under the name Alexandra Chackerian-but never fear, Beautiful Fitness is staying firmly put).

In real estate it is well known that it’s good to be the third salesperson someone works with, whether you’re working with a buyer or seller. As the story goes, the first broker has the occasional misfortune of telling the seller that the price in their head is too high-never a popular suggestion. The first broker is then unloaded in favor of the second broker- the one who needn’t be the messenger of lower pricing. Sometimes though even the second broker fails to delight the client- the apartment may sit on the market a bit, the price may prove to still be too high, and since the process of home sales can be complex (especially in New York City) the second broker gets to share a set of new surprises about the fees and choices associated with selling. And what seller likes fees and choices? Adieu to the second broker.

But now the apartment isn’t getting any younger and the seller still wants to see the money in their bank account and in steps, guess who? Broker number three. The heroine/hero. The closer. The ‘person who really makes stuff happen’. Though in fact, this person’s specialness is mostly their timing. They are, more like, the last person to try to get the cover off the mustard.

But this blog’s about wellness, not real estate. And this three thing can work wonders with any fitness program or wellness practice. The first, and the most obvious way it can help, is in convincing you stick to it long enough to let your body and mind have a chance to “get” it and like it. If you try something new, or want to get back to exercise, and you’re feeling tentative, or just straight up hating it, and your emotions are telling you to quit. Fuhgettaboudit as we say in Brooklyn- at least until you’ve done it all the way three times.

You know how I’m always telling you to trust your instincts and intuition? Well with things you know are good for you- even if you believe your intuition is telling you to give up- this is the one occasion where I suggest you tell your intuition to “shut it” and carry on until you’ve done whatever it is thrice. Then you can quit if you still want to. Has your intuition turned the corner on doing something that’s good for you? Was that really your intuition saying no, or some sneaky part of your brain just stirring up fearful emotions to protect you from a new thing? You’ll know the difference after you do it for the third time. Trust me.

And for those of you who have all but given up on working out but can still remember a time when you could walk up the subway stairs effortlessly- in my experience with this fitness stuff it is very common for people to quit exercising twice in their lives and go back to it three times- and have it stick the third time (though it does seem that the third time is often a response to a doctors demand or some other kind of physical scare).

Sure, there are some vigilant, life-long exercisers–but we are in the minority, and half of us are in the fitness industry, and the other half are in our twenties with no kids. So for everyone else, there’s a lot of starting and stopping due to changing life circumstances which is just fine.

But where there’s a will there’s a way-eventually. And sooner or later there’s usually even consistency and self care rises to where it belongs near the top of the priority list. After all, you can’t stop taking care of yourself for long before it catches up to you in ways you can’t ignore anymore. So never fear those of you on an exercise hiatus–you’re likely to go back to it someday- and if you’ve quit twice already-this time it’s likely to stick. We get a remarkable number of clients who disappear for a year at a time, quit exercise altogether, and come back to us, to stay with a regular exercise program from then on (with and without Beautiful Fitness’ ongoing involvement).

So if sluggishness is your MO right now and you are having trouble getting started on a self care plan you can be proud of thinking it might not “work” because you’ve been motivated before only to find yourself wondering how you ever did it… just push yourself solidly uphill three times and you may find that three is a lucky number for you too helping you get going for good!

Thanks for reading,

Alexandra Florio
President
Beautiful Fitness
Beautiful Fitness website

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